Mira Hameko part 1

From: Mira Hameko
Subject: Re: Look forward to meeting you in 5 weeks
To: Josh
Date: 21/09/2012

Hello Joshua!

How are you? I haven't received your reply. I don't know why you don't write me. I resent you my previous mail but still no news from you. If you don't want to correspond with me, please, just write me and let me know.

I hope you will write me soon!

Best regards,
Mira.

From: Josh
Subject: Re: Look forward to meeting you in 5 weeks
To: Mira Hameko
From: 27/09/2012

Hello Mira,

So sorry I haven't gotten back to you sooner, don't worry I resent you plenty! How are you? The reason I have not emailed you back sooner is because I have been at work. Where I work there is no internet, companionship, 'recognisable' fast food chain restaurants or even internet. But it's okay because I am building a pile of money in my house from working there. Soon the pile will be at a decent height and also density to support me. I mean this both figuratively as in financially supporting my lifestyle but also literally as I would like to actually sit on it and gaze across my living room not unlike a king or a forward-thinking squirrel in the winter time.

I am now back so you can expect me to respond very quickly to your emails. What kind of food do you like to eat? I like already established meals that have a flavour of another completely seperate food like Sushi Pizza and Hamburger Pie.

Kind wishes,
Josh

From: Mira Hameko
Subject: hello Josh!
To: Josh
From: 1/10/2012

Hello Josh!

I am glad to see your reply! How are you doing today? I am doing fine.

In what city do you live??

I am not picky about the food, I like chicken or fish with vegetables.

I  have  just  finished working. I am tired a bit but I am very glad I did it! I wanted to draw a panda. I made 2 samples and I had to choose only 1 but made the other one  The picture is attached!

I  have  some more T-shirts to make and then I can begin preparing for my visit to Australia.

I  didn't  tell you, I am going to visit my sister and her husband who live  in  Australia  in  Kempsey.  But mostly they work abroad. We are going  to  meet  there as they want to stay at home for 3 months and I will come to Australia to spend 3 wonderful months there! Of course, I can meet you if you still want to meet in real! Just let me know and I will make a T-short for you as a present  Something with a dragon!

Josh, is it warm in Australia? I hope so!

My  parents  want  to  visit  me  in several days. I need to call them because  they  can't  call me. The phone here is disconnected and last several  weeks  I don't have my mobile phone as it died while having a bubble bath with me  It sank...

May  be I didn't tell you, my parents live in the suburb of Kiev. They live alone because I moved to Donetsk about 2 years ago. And my sister got  married  about  4  years  ago.  They  miss us both. That's all my family: mom, dad, my sister and her husband.

I  hope  to see them soon because they want to take Doby. I won't take him  with  me to Australia. In a week or so I will get the tickets, by that time I must be ready with everything.

Well, I am think I need to finish my mail. I am going to go for a walk with  Doby,  he  needs to go out  Then I will watch Dirty Dancing on TV,  it  will start in 50 minutes. I like this movie. I like the music of 80th but I like aslo modern music including rap and disco  Also I like  to  dance  but  I  can't dance ball dances or Latino. But I like them!  What music do you like? What dances do you like (if you like to
dance!)?

So, I am sending you my mail and I will be waiting for your reply!

Best regards,
Mira

From: Josh
Subject: Re: hello Josh!
To: Mira Hameko
From: 9/10/2012

Hello Mira,

So good to hear from you once again. I am doing so-so. Me and my mate Jibbo were at the pub after work and this song came on the tv and I said I liked it a bit which is a lie because I actually like it a whole lot and then Jibbo was all like "ha ha only retards like that song and so I'm insinuating that YOU are in fact a retard" which really hurt my feelings. Anyway few more drinks, words were exchanged yada yada yada we can expect to see Jibbo in 6 weeks and I have agreed to cover half of the bills which is around $799.80 which is quite high, but what I would have spent in that night anyway had fate not played the 'hospital' card, albeit with the inclusion of a fine sampling of local bitters and of course female genetalia.

I live in Melbourne which is a wonderful place where the grass is green at the girls are pretty. Unlike you I am very picky about food. I am not unlike that Bear Grills fella in that I have been known to insist upon fish so fresh that I will take a bus down to the markets in order to wrestle one with my wallet. But sometimes canned texan chilli is also fine.

I am loving your Panda drawing. It is fantastic and I can see that if developed there is no limit to the satisfaction your skill and talent can bring you. Do you draw dinosaurs wearing dinner jackets? I love those. How are your preparations for arriving in Australia coming along? Please Mira you must promise me that you don't bring with you anything that customs will not allow - they are very strict. One time Jibbo tried to bring back from Bali this novelty can opener shaped like a human penis that was made of wood to which I remarked "you can't bring wood into Australia mate" with a smirk. See what I've done here is a play on words using 'wood'. Apart from the material that we have enjoyed for centuries it is also sometimes used as a slang for the human penis. This coupled with the shape of the can opener that I described before makes for a level of comedy that goes 'against the grain'. I won't bother to explain that next joke-within-a-joke because it is just too funny. Anyway Jibbo went away for a long time after that so don't bring anything unnecessary into Australia or customs will just go b-a-n-a-n-a-n-a-s which is another thing you cannot bring in because they have these mites that live in them that will totally mess up our delicate ecosystem. I cannot stress this enough.

Looking forward to hearing more about your sister, parents and next steps for your arrival in Australia in your next email!

Kissles
Josh